In a
whirlwind of time, my life has turned colour. The shift of seasons from
summer to fall caught me up in its kaleidoscope of inevitable change. And tripped
me, tumbled me, as the winds tumble leaves and ocean waves loosen their rocks
upon the shoreline, easing rough edges smooth or smoother.
Asked to
ponder when and how does a gathering of people become a group, when and how
does the group morph into a team or band, and when and at what point does it
become a community, the answers slowly developed over a moon's cycle. To reveal
the obvious through an achingly somatic experience that this cyclical process
embodies a sacredness not only for myself, but for each and every person within
the gathering who has become part of the group and in time, the community.
These
questions, posed to me once I left my Seaside and Astoria communities and
traveled northward this September to begin a new life, held me riveted day in,
day out. Sensing that I could not rest until I understood the deeper meaning
within this riddled set of ponderings, I came to realize that I was a part of
the grand evolution bestowed upon those who come together into a group to share
their passions, and ultimately morph into a community. And that I was mourning
leaving behind community, connection, respect, nourishment and love for and
from the people in my groups. I had no idea that leaving would would throw me
into a depression. Nor that my leaving
would impact others.
To be the
wayward wind, identifying with a disconnected alone sense no longer defined who
I was. While I had not considered myself a group person, over time I found my
writing group, my music groups and other
groups nourishing me, holding me connected, feeding my deepest passions. Stories unexamined for too long, held in the
subconscious, unexposed to the light of consciousness, can imprison us, keeping
our pathologies alive rather than freeing us to live with an ease to explore
maintaining continuity and connection to self and others.
Jill
Liedloff in in her book “The Continuum Concept: In Search of Happiness Lost,”
writes about our need for continuity.
Comparing a stone age culture’s intact social structure and the impact
upon the children, and ultimately the ease among the village, she shows us the
suffering tribal members experience who leave their village to live
elsewhere--their loss of connection, acceptance for whom they are, their place
in the tribe and their importance as a tribal member. Ultimately, the impact
upon their psyche.
True to her
studies and postulating, leaving everyone and everything jolted me
deeply. There was little solace for my sadness. The light that shone,
went dim. I withered along with the autumn leaves. My voice grew
still. Briny tears fell in rivulets down to the Straits of Juan de Fuca,
to the shoreline, commingled and became one with this tributary, taking sorrow
out to the Mother herself. On down the coastal currents, into the waters across
the estuaries making their way to the mouth of the Columbia, crossing the state
line into Oregon, and to the shores of Astoria, and further down the coastline
to Seaside and beyond.
It was
through these tears and sadness that I understood the pondering riddle. We morph from one shaggy individualistic
bunch into a diversely connected passionate group and community when respect
for one another, appreciation for our individual gifts and personalities,
participation through our commitment to show up, responsibility to share
our creative process, and acceptance and honouring of others is maintained at
the highest calibre. The icing on the
cake so-to-speak is the learning and teaching exchanged in the process.
The
continuity of a group and ultimately a community is as dependable as the moon
in her cycles, the tide in the oceans, the seasonal shifts from one year to the
next—binding us together in a metaphorical sense of home and nourishment for
the soul. Always evolving, shifting, as everything alive has a pulse,
ultimately commingling into a richer gathering of people with each passing
moment. As if nature’s commitment to show up, be present, is guiding us in our own values, understanding
that we, too, commit to the greater group and through that, thrive in our
interconnectedness to self and others.
Kat
12 October 2018
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